my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
imagine dating a very short girl and she carries a stool everywhere in case she wants to kiss you
girls hit on me AND boys hit on me. i explode. i am a piñata
have you ever thought about how weird sleeping is like we basically dress ourselves in special sleeping clothes and lay on special sleeping mats then spend the next few hours completely comatose all the while hallucinating vividly
pierce-alexandria-with-sirens:
words i use in every sentence:
- no
- stop
- dude
- literally
- like
- seriously
- fuck
That’s a sentence right there
